carpe diem

Showing off four titles at Ferguson’s Books & More, West Fargo on May 18

dither [dith er] verb (used without object) to act irresolutely; vacillate.

Are you a ditherer? I have to confess I’ve spent a lot of my life dithering. I’ve debated possible courses of action. I’ve dreamed impossible dreams that never got off the ground. I’ve pondered the consequences of this or that move. All the while I’ve sat in my recliner, never taking a risk. I’ve dithered way too much.

Lately I’m learning to be a little less introspective. Take a chance. Put myself out there. Publishing a book feels (for a Scandinavian kid who grew up on the farm) like a risk. What will people think?

One of the truest statements I’ve heard is that writing a book is like walking onstage without any clothes on, and asking the audience, “Well, what do you think?”

Writing that first book was tough. The alternative, of course, was not to write it. Or at least not to publish it. I had hundreds, maybe thousands, of pages of writing stashed away in my computer at that time. I could have gone to my grave with none of it published. But at just the right moment, God put John across the table from me at the coffee shop. John asked, “What’s with that? Are we afraid of being judged? Is that what it’s about?” I knew at that moment I had to publish that first book.

Since then they’ve come a lot easier. I’ve realized that a) I do actually have something worth saying, and b) I don’t have to have it all perfectly right before writing about it. I’ve come to see writing as more of a conversation.

It was great fun yesterday to have multiple copies of my four books spread out on the table at Ferguson’s Books & More in West Fargo. Outside, the street fair bustled. Food trucks catered to the people who walked up and down Sheyenne listening to the live band and checking out the vendors. Inside, the wide-eyed guy running the bookstore tried to keep up with the traffic. Lisa and I got to visit with a lot of good friends and family who stopped by. We know people in Fargo. And we got to talk with some new customers about my books as well.

Four books in print doesn’t seem like a lot. I thought about that yesterday, knowing that the goal (sic) is that by the end of the year the number will be more like seven or eight.

Part of my task these days is taking so much of the material I’d squirreled away years ago, evaluating it to see if it’s worth publishing, and getting it cleaned up, finalized, and in print. So even with a day job and moving a house, I can get a lot of writing done. At the same time, I’m creating new works. We have solid plans for a series to follow Death on Disappointment Mountain. More on that in the next few weeks.

By the way, if you want to get news about current projects and upcoming publications before anyone else, sign up for my email list at the bottom of the page. About once a month I’ll put out an email update, and that’s the first place I’ll share new projects.

I’m enjoying this business of being a writer, especially the part about having people read my books and coming back with comments. A good friend said in passing yesterday that he knew Wait for the Lightning was going to be a good book on Genesis when it mentioned Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in the opening paragraph. I love that kind of feedback, knowing whether something I’ve written connects in the way I intended.

But none of it happens if I dither. Each morning I need to get out of bed early enough to spend some time writing. Some days it’s inventing a new story. Others it’s updating contact lists and calendar commitments. But if I don’t want the dithering to win, I have to DO something.

So do you.